AUTHENTIC SELF REGULATION TOOL
Flowchart Explanation

1. Start from Authentic Self (your values, strengths, and true identity).
2. Identify the trigger – and move through Thoughts, Emotions, and Behaviours, observing how they negatively affect each other.
3. Identify Maladaptive Patterns (unhelpful coping mechanisms).
4. Use Self-Regulation Strategies to return to your Authentic Self within the 15 minute time frame.

FLOWCHART
Authentic Self - Who are you Authentically?
Thoughts - What are the thoughts that come up when triggered?
Emotions - What is the dominate emotion are you experiencing?
Behaviours - How are you reacting based on your thoughts and emotions?
Maladaptive Pattern -
What unhelpful patterns or coping mechanisms are showing up?

Self-Regulation Process

1. Identify Your Authentic Self – Start by grounding yourself in your true values and core strengths.
2. Observe Your Thoughts – Recognise any cognitive patterns or negative self-talk.
3. Name Your Emotions – Acknowledge your emotional state without judgment.
4. Assess Your Behaviours – Are they aligned with your authentic self, or are they reactive?
5. Recognize Maladaptive Patterns – Identify any default, unhelpful reactions that exacerbate the negative effect.
6. Self-Regulate – Use grounding techniques, reframing, and mindful choices to realign with your authentic self.

Time Frame – more than 30 secs less than 15minutes

• NOTICE - Pause & Breathe: Create space to reflect before responding.
• Thought reversal: Challenge unhelpful thinking.
• Regulate Emotions: Utilise emotional regulation strategies.
• Choose Adaptive Behaviours: Act in ways that support your well-being.
• Understand the Maladaptive Cycle: Shift towards alignment with your Authentic self.

The more you practice this method, the more you identify with who you truly are.

AUTHENTIC SELF REGULATION TOOL [1]
Authentic self-regulation is a practice that you can learn which will support you to manage maladaptive emotions, thoughts, and behaviours in a way that aligns you with your Authentic Self—rather than operating from maladaptive behavioural modes, the self-regulation tool is to help you stay authentic, while managing your psychological processes effectively:

1. NOTICE THE TRIGGER  (greater than 30 seconds no longer than 15 minutes)

Acknowledge Your Current Emotional without Judgment

• Take a moment to check in with yourself. Pause and observe your emotions, thoughts and behaviours as they arise, without judgment and with compassion.
• Try to pinpoint the underlying feeling and/or conflict.
• Self-regulate back to your Authentic self

GROUND – Self - Regulate Your Nervous System With Mindfulness Practices

• Grounding techniques help you stay present and learn effective self-regulation skills.
• Find what works best for you.
• Options for grounding:
  • Breath work – Try breathing techniques..
    
  • Movement – Engage in stretching, walking, or even shaking off tension to release stored energy.
  • Meditation
  • Self-Talk & Affirmations – Remind yourself: “I am safe.
• Develop a daily practice to support building skills and confidence over time.

 

1. OPEN UP – Once Self-Regulated Connect With Your Authentic Needs and Values
   • Reflect on whether your psychological responses aligns with how you perceive and interact.
   • Use effective communication strategies, such as being vulnerable when setting clear boundaries, and engaging in healthy conflict resolution.
   • When we communicate when dysregulated, we are operating from the maladaptive pattern which exacerbates the negative effect, when we open up from the Authentic self we develop an positive effect and over time this build self-confidence, acceptance and compassion.

Respond Authentically, Not Maladaptively. Instead of reacting from the default maladaptive pattern, take a moment to pause and choose a response that aligns with your motivations.

• Ask yourself: What action or mindset shift would be most aligned to my authentic self?
• If you value honesty, explore ways to express yourself with both compassion and kindness.
  • Example: "I want to be honest about how I feel, and I also want to approach this conversation with respect and understanding."

 

1. WHATS IMPORTANT?
   • What will motivate you in this practice? What is your intention? What supports to do you in the work?
   • Example: Wanting a better relationship with self and others

[1] Authentic Self-Regulation Tool by Joanne Meldrum (2024)

In the pursuit of mental well-being, one of the most powerful tools that I have discovered when working with clients is the ability to teach practices that support people to regulate emotions, thoughts, and behaviours in a way that aligns with our authentic selves. The Authentic Self-Regulation (ASR) tool offers a structured approach to self-awareness and emotional management that allows individuals to navigate life with intention, rather than reactively conforming to external pressures or suppressing their true feelings.
Whether you are a mental health professional, someone studying psychopathy and psychiatry, or an individual seeking to become the best version of yourself, this tool provides an actionable framework to develop self-understanding and transformation.
What Is Authentic Self-Regulation?
Authentic Self-Regulation is the practice of managing emotional responses in alignment with one's true self. Rather than simply suppressing emotions or reacting impulsively, ASR encourages a mindful and reflective approach to handling emotional experiences. It helps individuals recognize when they are being influenced by external expectations or conditioned responses and guides them toward more conscious and authentic choices.
The Five-Step Authentic Self-Regulation Tool
1. NOTICE (Greater than 30 seconds, no longer than 15 minutes)
Acknowledge Your Current Emotional State Without Judgment

• Pause and observe your emotions as they arise without labelling them as "good" or "bad."
• Ask yourself: What am I feeling right now?
• Name the emotion with specificity. Instead of saying, "I'm upset," try pinpointing the underlying feeling.
  Example: "I feel frustrated"

2. OPEN UP – Connect With Your Deeper Needs and Values

• Reflect on whether your emotional response aligns with your core values and authentic self.
• Ask: Is this emotion genuinely mine, or is it influenced by external pressures, societal expectations, or past conditioning?
• Consider if your reaction stems from an unmet need, a personal boundary being crossed, or a deeper desire.
• Use effective communication skills such as setting clear boundaries, practicing active listening, and engaging in healthy conflict resolution.

3. INVESTIGATE WHAT IS UNDERLYING THAT IS IMPORTANT TO YOU  – Understand the Root Cause of Your Emotional Response

• Go beyond the surface of your emotions and explore what is important to you that is in conflict with how you feel the way you do.
• Ask yourself:
  • Is this reaction tied to a past experience that shaped my beliefs?
  • Am I responding to an unhealed wound, an internalized fear, or an unmet need?
• Example: If you feel anxious about speaking up, ask yourself:
  • Am I afraid of being judged or rejected?
  • Have I experienced a situation in the past where my voice was dismissed, leading me to fear speaking up now?

4. GROUNDING – Regulate Your Nervous System With Supportive Practices
Grounding techniques help maintain emotional balance and prevent overwhelm. Explore what works best for you:

• Breathwork – Try deep breathing exercises to calm your system.
• Movement – Engage in stretching, walking, or shaking off tension to release stored energy.
• Self-Talk & Affirmations – Remind yourself: "It's okay to feel this. I am safe."
• Daily Practice – Incorporating these techniques consistently builds confidence and emotional resilience over time.

5. SLOW DOWN – Respond Intentionally, Not Reactively

• Instead of reacting impulsively, take a moment to pause and choose a response aligned with your values.
• Ask yourself: What action or mindset shift would be aligned with my true self?
• If you value honesty but struggle with confrontation, explore ways to express yourself with both compassion and clarity. Example: "I want to be honest about how I feel, and I also want to approach this conversation with respect and understanding."

Why the Authentic Self Regulation Tool Matters
The ASR tool is not just about managing emotions—it’s about cultivating a deeper sense of self-awareness and authenticity. It empowers individuals to:

• Move away from maladaptive patterns and conditioned responses.
• Improve relationships by developing honest and mindful communication.
• Build emotional resilience and prevent emotional overwhelm.
• Live in alignment with their true values and personal integrity.

By incorporating ASR into daily practice, both mental health professionals and individuals can gain insight into the complexities of emotional regulation and personal transformation. Over time, this tool enhances a life that is not only more balanced but also deeply fulfilling, as it allows individuals to live from a place of authenticity rather than reactivity.

Through my experience working in acute psychiatry, I have come to appreciate the significance of understanding psychopathy. Psychiatry and psychopathy are vastly different yet closely aligned, each offering unique insights into human behaviour and mental health. While psychiatry often focuses on inward experiences—how individuals relate to themselves—psychopathy is primarily an outward expression, influencing how individuals interact with others. This distinction is essential in recognizing both the challenges and the possibilities for change in personality and behaviour.
A common misconception is that psychopathy is a fixed, unchangeable state. However, in reality, we are all capable of momentarily exhibiting or identifying with maladaptive personality traits. The ability to regulate these traits, particularly through tools such as the Authentic Self-Regulation approach, highlights the potential for transformation. Over time, individuals can shift away from maladaptive patterns and move toward a more authentic and adaptive way of being.
In contrast, conditions such as psychosis are often linked to vulnerabilities and trauma. Like psychopathy, psychosis is not necessarily a permanent state, but its course is closely related to an individual's sense of safety and level of insight. While psychosis tends to disrupt a person’s internal reality, psychopathy manifests more in external behaviours and social interactions. Recognizing these differences is crucial for effective therapeutic intervention and support.
The purpose of this discussion on psychopathy is to emphasize that change is possible. By gradually understanding and distinguishing maladaptive from adaptive patterns, individuals can cultivate a deeper connection to their authentic selves. Through consistent self-awareness and regulation, it is possible to move beyond harmful behaviours and live in alignment with one’s true nature.
Ultimately, developing an understanding of psychopathy not only helps individuals manage their own behaviours but also supports a more compassionate and informed approach to mental health care.